Okay, let’s talk about my new bathroom MVP—the Brondell SE400 bidet seat. I was skeptical at first (who spends this much on a toilet seat?!), but 10 days in, and I’m already drafting apology letters to my old toilet paper stash.

First off, the heated seat is *chef’s kiss*. It’s like sitting on a warm hug, and my kids are obsessed (though they’re banned from the spray functions—no toddler bidet parties here). The adjustable water temp/pressure is next-level customization. I keep mine on ‘gentle spa mode,’ but the oscillating nozzle means you can go full power-wash if you’re feeling adventurous.

The nightlight? Genius. No more 3AM toe-stubbing while blindly navigating to the toilet. And the self-cleaning nozzle? Hygienic AND lazy-girl approved. Pro tip: The warm air dryer won’t fully replace TP (I still pat-dry for sanity), but we’ve cut our usage by 75%. Eco-warrior points unlocked!

Installation was shockingly easy—just needed thread tape and a wrench. The cord could be longer, but hey, nobody’s perfect. Only quirks: occasional water splashes (maybe user error?) and tank reheating time between uses. Small trade-offs for feeling like royalty every time nature calls.

Final verdict? Worth every penny. My only regret? Not buying two.