Okay, let’s talk about these KEEN Uneek sandals that everyone’s raving about. First off – they look like something a minimalist superhero would wear. The braided cord design? Surprisingly stylish for something that resembles a high-tech friendship bracelet.

The comfort level is LEGIT. Wore these bad boys for a 5-mile walk and my feet didn’t stage a protest. The footbed cradles your arches like they’re precious cargo, and the microfiber lining means zero blisters (unlike my last relationship).

Pro tip: SIZE UP! I made the rookie mistake of ordering my usual size and now have toe cleavage. Also learned the hard way that the cords create bizarre tan lines – my feet look like they’ve been through a laser tag match.

They do take FOREVER to dry though. Like, ‘waiting-for-my-ex-to-text-back’ forever. Not ideal if you’re hopping between water activities, but perfect for lazy beach days or pretending to be outdoorsy at brunch.

Final verdict? 9/10 would recommend – docked one point because I can never decide if they make me look like an REI model or someone who lost their shoes at Burning Man.