Okay, so I've been testing the ArmorSiren for about a month now – at home, in hotels, even strapped to my gym bag – and here's the real tea:

The Good: This little thing SCREAMS (literally, 120dB is no joke). I accidentally triggered it while adjusting the sensitivity and my neighbor texted asking if I was being murdered. The app is decent – lets you tweak settings remotely and get alerts. Battery life? Insane. Still at 60% after 3 weeks of daily use.

The Quirks: The suction cups are basically decorative (RIP), but the magnet and lanyard work great. App UI looks like it was designed in 2010 – functional but ugly. Pro tip: Test the volume outside first unless you want temporary hearing loss.

Unexpected Win: Used it as an impromptu bike alarm when I had to dash into a store. Would 10/10 recommend for solo travelers – that moment when housekeeping triggers it and you hear panicked retreating footsteps? Priceless.